Actually, if i was allowed to exist only with in my own world and come into "reality" so to speak - when and where i chose. Then things would be fine. How can i pretend to interact with objects and creatures and situations if i am not understanding of them. And even worse, to be forced into that kind of thing makes even the small things feel immense.

Most of the things i come across on an every day basis, either drag me one way or the other. Down or up. Most of the things i come across in "reality is completely foreign. Of course i have to go into that place and interact and buy my groceries and pretend to care about what does not even concern me at all. - as i see so many people do. So much of all of it is something beyond my thought patterns. As i don't even catch myself thinking of those things until another brings it up.
And thats when i find myself feeling uncomfortable. Because
1)-am i oblivious and therefor free, or
2)-am i oblivious and not coming to my fill potential as a "human being", where as i don't give much care about anyway, as it seems like an utterly useless task. Once you have to "try" to do anything, thats a billboard somethings not right. (In my opinion)


I don't need advice on how to live, i need advice on how to survive outside myself. I'm doing my best. I'm not sure if anyone see's that.

I do however see myself going further in my own direction, and that is good for me. Even if i fail by everyone else's little standards. After all, we always have ourselves.






+ at this point i am highly interested in collaboration or art trade.
Wither through digital or tangible form.
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